Has it ever happened to you that one day you wake up and you just feel lost? All your “life plans” seem to come crashing down on you and nothing makes sense anymore. All the things you thought you would have achieved by now seem like a distant possibility. That’s when you go hard on yourself. You push yourself to the limits and take every step necessary to be back on the plan and march ahead. You don’t think for a minute if your plan even stands true for you in this moment of time.
Well, I want you to take a step back and listen, listen to yourself. Find out what it is that your soul wants. Understand why did your plan not work out and why your body and mind resisted doing its best! If you feel that the goals you set out for yourself in the past still stand true, then don’t look back and just keep marching. But, if there is even a slight possibility of change then don’t be afraid. What might feel like a setback may actually be a step towards a new beginning. Don’t be disappointed, don’t be scared. All you are doing is finding yourself.
I had fallout a while ago. I almost hit rock bottom (almost!) and didn’t think I would be able to get up again. I lost faith in everything including myself. Every morning I would get up with a burden on my shoulders wondering where to go next. For someone, who is almost clear (if not crystal clear) about her life, I was going nowhere. For someone, who believed in herself more than anyone else, I doubted every step of mine. I stood on the sidelines as people moved on. That’s when I decided to step back and talk to myself.
It wasn’t easy. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I had good days and bad days. I had moments of clarity followed by moments of self-doubt. But it is the best thing to have happened to me. Throughout the past few months, I had time to re-evaluate my life, my goals, and my principles even.
Talking to others really did help. I realized just how calming it is to be surrounded by friends and family who really wants the best for you. They do not judge you for your choices; instead they give you the space to make mistakes. They pick you up if you ask them to or lie down on the floor with you if you are too arrogant to get up!
But, more than anything, talking to myself has been the best medicine for my body and soul. All the answers that I needed were inside me. I was too ignorant to listen. But when I gave in completely, everything I needed to hear came rushing to me and I had a moment of Eureka! And I remember laughing (very loudly, in fact) when that moment came. I was laughing because I was a fool to believe that the outside world would send me signs and I would know what to do next. When in reality, my inside world was screaming for me to listen and I was deaf towards it.
Today, whenever I need to take a decision, I lock myself in a room and let my body decide. That decision might not be the best, but at least it came from me and not from the outside. Because if you won’t listen to yourself, then who will?
Slowly but surely, my life is shaping a new way for itself and I am not holding back anymore!
We encounter truth within. —A.D. Posey